BSE Is Opening In Juhu And We Have No Reason Not To Write About It

Bar Stock Exchange, the pub that models itself on the Stock Exchange because there’s nothing people love more than being consistently reminded about exactly who owns them and their children every time the call for a gin and tonic, is opening its newest branch in Juhu. As a Windows phone user, and person who looks fifteen whenever he shaves, I have a deep resentment for BSE, but in the interest of good journalism I will not call them bourgeois wannabes. It’ll be sharing its new restaurant space with Mr.Baozi.

The new BSE is rumoured (if you hang out with people who spread rumours about restaurants) to be modelled around a school playground, which as someone who went to Podar, I have no understanding of. Imagine the thrill of sitting in a playground and the flood of old childhood memories that it could bring, at least if you were the kind of kid who downed tequila shots on the swing, in which case we’d like to hire you full time.

Now I personally didn’t drink as a kid, unless you can prove otherwise, but I can appreciate the sentiment in associating childhood innocence with alcoholism. Say what you want about BSE being total fascists about admitting people who aren’t 25, refusing to make an App so Windows users can order drinks and celebrating an organisation whose foreign counterpart’s greed have brought nothing but economic nightmares and suffering on working families, it does sell cheap booze and decent food, so we’re all good.

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