Before we get to the article, we’d like to gently remind our readers that we’ve given out our email address in good faith, so you can send us your feedback, recommendations and the casual death threats we’re willing to overlook simply because we long for human acknowledgement. What we won’t stand is having young women writing in asking to meet Derrick The Intern. It’s not going to happen. Leave us alone.
Despite being a recognised authority on the subject Bombay by virtue of a domain name we bought for 600 bucks, we didn’t know very much about Bandra East. We just assumed it was all BKC, and lived our lives in ignorant bliss. But Bandra East does exist and its influence spreads well beyond the two blocks around the station that catch fire every six months. It’s quiet, has great roads, lots of greenery and doesn’t have a disturbing flood of models & wannabe douchebags in its general population; it’s everything we wish Bandra West still was.
We’d like to thank our dear reader Parth for recommending Chinaar, and would like to formally invite him on our next adventure to God knows where. We never actually plan any of this stuff, despite what our masterfully crafted articles may have you believe.
We tracked Chinaar down to a market near MIG Cricket Club, and the moment we walked in, it was easily the most expansive bar we’ve been to. Most of the non A/C section was under a veranda that spanned several acres, which means it’s only a matter of time before the BMC tears it down to build potholes.
Being gentlemen from the west, we managed to hustle ourselves into a prime position next to a wall fan in the roofed section of the Bar. The inside was unremarkable, but clean, the ventilation was surprisingly well thought out, and the acoustics were good enough to deliver Derrick the Internet rants on women in the workforce to an unsuspecting group of patrons across the room. Because we’re unimaginative drunks, we called for the three most cliché items on the menu.
We’ve been eating bombil professionally for two years now, and our adventures have allowed us to compile a startling database of the best plates of bombil fry in the city. And we’re happy to say that the bombil fry at Chinaar is high up on the list. It’s deliciously spicy, crisp to perfection, though not crunchy, and thin enough to melt in your mouth. Truly among the top three bombil fries of any bar we’ve been to so far; and certainly the most exciting.
Chicken Pahadi Kabab
The Chicken Pahadi Kabab was very, very tangy, but that did give it a certain character. Despite being noticeably well cooked, it wasn’t among the nicest kebabs we’ve ever had, but as far as bar food goes it’s still pretty good; and as far as chicken goes it’s excellent.
Prawn Masala Fry
Price: Rs. 270
Considering that the Prawns Koliwada was 300 bucks, and we as men of principle would never stoop to such luxury, we decided to call for the humble Prawns Masala Fry. Considering the price, we expected the prawns to be a bit bigger than we usually get; they weren’t. They were however quite spicy which in our opinion is an objective good. We downed the prawns with butter garlic naan, which was probably one of the most beautiful things we’ve ever seen.
The Decree: Considering this was our first dive bar review recommended by a reader; and not an ambush set by our ideological enemies as we initially suspected, we’re glad to say we liked Chinaar. It’s not particularly women friendly because they didn’t seem to have any toilets for ladies; so at least we know it isn’t getting gentrified any time soon.