Coma Coma, Bandra: The Wall Just Got Ten Feet Lower

After the mixed reactions we received for our article on Old Monk vs. Captain Morgan where we “accidently” ignited a civil war that pitted neighbour against neighbour and brother against brother, we decided to recall our field agents, lest Old Monk hardliners track them down and throw things at them. Furthermore, all food packages sent to our offices were inspected for poison by our team of unassuming professional food tasters/interns. On a totally unrelated note, the company now has four vacancies.

Coma Coma was started by two friends who quit their day jobs to pursue their dreams and change the world, much like this very website. That was reason enough for us to try their stuff. They were men who created something of true value and quality by sheer force of will, and no one can take that away from them. There is nothing we respect more(except women). To our readers, it’s never too late to start that printed t-shirt startup you’ve always wanted to. Everyone loves those.

Most parcelled food tends to deteriorate considerably by the time it arrives, which is why we generally prefer doing our reviews on site. But Coma Coma operates out of a phantom kitchen at an undisclosed location, and didn’t want us poking around asking hard-hitting questions. We don’t know how, but those sneaky Mexicans were able to bypass our office fence with no trouble, leading us to consider creating a taller, stronger, more upright structure of masonry. We were pleasantly surprised to find that our order had arrived in mostly mint condition, despite its arduous journey through the dilapidated (read:quaint) BMC maintained streets of Bandra. Because our knowledge of Mexican culture is limited exclusively to the music video of Gasolina, we asked them to send what they thought was good. And they did.

The Southern Burrito

Rs. 262

The Southern Burrito contained slivers of spicy crumb-fried chicken, a ridiculous amount of Mexican-spiced rice, and beans, all in a chapati-like burrito wrap. The chicken itself is a lot like what you get KFC or the McSpicy Chicken Burger, only much, much better and safe for human consumption. We honestly were not expecting it to be as good as it was, based on its rather humble appearance and by virtue of it being chicken, but we can only imagine how much better it must have been fresh out of the kitchen.

Carnitas Burrito

Rs. 262

The Carnitas Burrito was stuffed with habanero pulled pork that’d been braised for close to 24 hours. Again, there was an unnecessary amount of rice, although to be fair, it was boiled to perfection. It was at around that point where we realised that Mexicans are basically just Indians, but with more hospitable neighbours and worse jobs. Between the Carnitas and Southern Chicken Burritos, we couldn’t find ourselves agreeing on which was better, so you might want to order both and find out for yourself.   

Nachos

Rs. 76

 

 

Coma Coma has the best tortilla chips we’ve had, period, which is unusual because they’re not flavoured in any way. They’re slightly sweet from the corn, perfectly shaped, and very crunchy. While the guacamole and salsa they gave us were also both awesome, we much preferred eating the nachos plain. Whether they were made in-house by a chica bonita named Maria, or come from a factory in somewhere in Dombivali is irrelevant, they’re exceptional either way.

Pork Belly Soft Shell Taco

Rs. 262

The Pb& J Taco contained pork belly glazed with a spicy honey, with an assortment of random vegetables. We had to assemble it ourselves, which lead to a heated fistfight over the equitable allocation of pork. The fatty pork belly, which is difficult to get right, was excellently prepared, and we took it easy with the toppings so as to not dilute its deliciousness. Overall, a nice dish, with the added satisfaction of getting to pretend we made it ourselves.

The Decree: As far as we can tell, Coma Coma seems to genuinely care about their food. It’s well priced, delicious, unpretentious, and everything is well designed, and not by their niece who just finished BMM and now thinks she’s a graphic designer. If you happen to live in Bandra they will deliver to your home and soon even cater your party. If not, they won’t; but you probably have bigger problems to worry about.

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