Every Beer At Brewbot, Ranked

Before we start with our specially curated line-up of Andheri jokes, we’d like to categorically state that those women were lying. No further comment.

Brewbot is one of Mumbai’s great microbreweries, yet unfortunately it has to overcome the severe setback of being in Andheri. Fans of the site are well aware that our last foray into Brewbot on a cold winter’s evening in 2016 ended prematurely when we got rammed by two drunk chicks who were trying to jive before tripping over a mini foosball table. This really put us off our drinks, & more specifically, put our drinks all over our shirts.

But we are nothing if not men of perseverance; after taking exactly one year to the day to recover from the horror of having some struggling actress colliding with our priceless brews, we went back to finish what we started. We did take the necessary precautions of going in the afternoon, which does technically make us day drinkers, but we do what we do strictly in the name of journalism. There’s a considerable amount of giant brewing machinery all around the bar, which disappointed us because we always assumed beer fell from the heavens and was collected by scantily clad maidens in large buckets.

We were forced to place our order at the bar because none of the waiters would acknowledge our existence. For all its talk, Brewbot has only 5 varieties of beer (excluding the special) which means we could drink & rank them all without getting too drunk halfway through, like we did at Doolally last year. And so we did.

Skywalker

Despite its name being a Disney lawsuit waiting to happen, the Skywalker was our favourite beer at Brewbot by a reasonable margin. It was a bit fruity, but still very smooth and arguably the only beer on the menu that could appeal to the general public. The Skywalker is a Kölsch, which is basically a pale larger brewed in Cologne, Germany (or in this case, Link Road, Andheri). Despite not being very interesting, the Skywalker is a good, solid, very enjoyable beer.

Mystery Pale Ale

The Mystery Pale is was designed specifically for people who like their beer adulterated with caramel. As fate would have it, we’re exactly that subset of the population, which means we enjoyed it quite a bit. We’ve always maintained that if you’re going to spend a considerable sum of money on craft beer, it might as well be something exciting. Love it or hate it, you can’t deny that this one of the most cheerful drinks you’ll ever come across.

Black Mamba

If you love beer, live on coffee, and constantly crave chocolate, the Black Mamba will be somewhat to your satisfaction. With a name like “Black Mamba” and universally beloved ingredients, we genuinely expected it to be our favourite drink of the afternoon; but there was definitely something a little off about it that we didn’t like. We didn’t particularly care for it either way, but it was still the third best item on the craft beer menu.

Botwork Orange

If the Mystery Pale Ale was an example of how quirky craft beers can be amazing, the Botwork Orange is the exact opposite. It tastes like spoiled lemon juice and dares mock the name of Stanley Kubrick’s 4th best movie. If the overwhelming taste of citrus wasn’t bad enough, there’s an equally gross aftertaste of jeera or a jeera-like substance which makes it quite unappealing. We wouldn’t recommend it.

Outcider

The Outcider is the worst item on the craft beer menu by virtue of being cider, which is basically spoiled fruit juice. But as far as ciders go it’s certainly above average, you could almost call it refreshing without being ridiculed by your male colleagues. Almost.

The Decree: We enjoyed our time at Brewbot, but the fact of the matter is that they’re just way too limited in their selection of craft beer. They do make up for this cardinal sin by being the only microbrewery that serves hard liquor, which is why we agreed to cut them some slack.

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