Free Pizza Is Real; And How To Get It

Prime Minister Modi’s campaign to end black money in India by banning 500 and 1000 rupee notes, as successful as it may be, has cause a sharp rift between people who support ending corruption in India and people who support feeding children. But in the midst of all the chaos and divisiveness there is one hope for our country, and it comes from a place everyone thought shut down in 2008; Pizza Hut.

Pizza Hut has been delivering deliver free pizzas to people waiting in lines at select banks in Mumbai, Pune, Bangalore and Delhi (though what the people of Delhi really need are gas masks at this point), this nifty PR strategy will cost the company an estimated Rs.5 lakh (or roughly the price of a large Chicken Sausage pizza), and will undoubtedly bring relief to the tens of thousands of people condemned to spend countless hours waiting for something incredibly boring, that shouldn’t have happened in the first place, and is not as big a deal as the media makes it out to be. I’m sorry, I was thinking of the Coldplay concert this Saturday. But still, standing in line at the bank is a dehumanising experience, which is why we make Derrick the Intern do it for us.

Since Pizza Hut says it’s likely to continue giving people free pizza, all you have to do is show up at ICICI, Bank of Baroda or HDFC (depending on which faction of a rigged economy you support) and stand in line, it could take hours, it could take days but at least you get to walk home with a free slice of pizza and a wad of 2,000 rupee notes that are as good as useless, because nobody has change.