Howra You Doing; Is This Bombay’s Biggest Burger?

There are some questions whose answers we as a species will never truly know; is the universe made of tiny little strings? Did we really land on the Moon? Why won’t Abhishek Bachchan give up acting? Questions, that for time immemorial have eluded some of the most brilliant men (and women). Well, today I think we’ve found the answer to one of the great riddles of life, a question we’ve been asking ourselves and random strangers we met at Chapel Road for decades, what is Mumbai’s biggest burger?

The answer, we have strong reason to suspect, comes from Howra, that’s been serving up weird and wonderful burgers out of their small stall in Breach Candy for years now. Their newest location is a small kitchen on Hill Road in Bandra that only does delivery. The item in question is their gargantuan, three patty, beef monster that’s so huge it needs a stick to support its own weight, a bit like our editor Rohan. They call it the Godfather, and unlike revenge, it’s a dish best served warm.

Eating the Godfather is a logistical nightmare, you need at least three pairs of hands to pick it up without making a mess and at least two stomachs to eat it. It isn’t nearly the best tasting burger in the world, not even close, but you get your money’s worth because there’s a whole cow’s worth of beef in the damn thing. There’re also some pretty decent onion rings, roughly two litres of some of the most amazing barbeque sauce I’ve had, some fried eggs and enough cheese to make you consider having bypass surgery. We don’t normally do whole articles about a single item, but unapologetic gluttony is a virtue I hold extremely dear.

I think what makes the Godfather so amazing isn’t its taste, or its price, or even how insanely good it looks, it’s all about bragging rights. Successfully finishing off a monstrosity like this in a single sitting takes a truly exceptional human being. Most of us will never conquer Mount Everest, become millionaires or marry hot blondes, but least we can tell our children tales of the time we took on the full might of bovine-bread technology and emerged victorious, the time we pushed ourselves to the limits of human endurance without ever leaving the table, the time truly felt like men. I mean, I couldn’t finish the burger, didn’t even come close, but my future kids don’t know that. Please don’t tell them.

If you think you know a bigger burger, tell us in the comments and we’ll put it to the test.

Comments

comments

Tags from the story
,