Movie Review; In Defence Of Nine Lives

I’ve always been more of a dog person. Every time I see a cat I feel compelled to throw a stone at it; the same goes for cat owners. But even I have to admit that most people’s reaction to Nine Lives was a little bit too harsh. Was it a predictable, sloppy, slapstick movie? Absolutely. But was it bad? No, I found it cute and rather charming, a feeling that I quickly suppressed with a dozen push ups.

Either way, the fascist pigs at Rotten Tomatoes really shouldn’t have given it an 8% rating, I mean come on, even Independence Day 2 got 32%. I don’t understand. What part of Kevin Spacey playing a house cat doesn’t make for compelling cinema? But I digress. I think you should watch Nine Lives, it isn’t a good movie, it isn’t even mediocre, it’s slightly below average, just like Nearfox. We can’t allow some big city, snooty critics deny us the right to love or hate movies based solely on their opinions. This was my favourite Kevin Spacey CGI appearance since Call of Duty Advanced Warfare.

Movies are supposed to be enjoyable, and I’d be lying if I said Nine Lives wasn’t, I did find the slapstick humour pretty funny even though I hated myself for laughing at it afterwards, and it did have scenes that almost invoked some bits of emotion in me. It’s great for a one time watch, though I pledge never to watch it for the rest of my life. Overall I’d give it two out of seven stars.

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