This Article was written by Arpit Purohit, a trained pastry chef and professional angry person. Even though he lives in Goregaon, he’s a pretty cool. He’s also a vegetarian who only drinks vodka, but don’t write him off just yet.
When it comes to places to eat, Goregaon isn’t quite the first thing that pops into my head; and I’m actually from Goregaon. Although I’ll admit, it is the first thing that pops into my head when it comes to places to get eaten. But we’re talking about restaurants; good ones, the kind of place you wouldn’t mind taking a college buddy from Hong Kong to, because you were educated in London and like to gloat about it every goddamn chance you get. But then I thought to myself, F*@k it, I’ll take him to Oberoi Mall instead.
Goregaon is one of those places still stuck in 2009, back when people actually went to malls; I know this because Olive Bristo was so packed you’d think UNICEF was giving away free food #GoregaonLife. Still, for the sake of this story let’s say we managed to get ourselves a table without any bloodshed.
1) Ginger Beer
250 bucks is a living wage in Goregaon, which is why I expected the ginger beer to be excellent. It was pretty to look at too. I was able to deduce that it was a mocktail made from ginger juice, Sprite, root beer and rock salt (which occurs naturally in Goregaon), because I’m a chef and totally didn’t read it off the menu. But it was pretty disappointing, it tasted like cheap beer mixed with ginger juice. I couldn’t even finish it.
2) Vegetarian Marinated Mushroom
I really liked the vegetarian marinated mushroom, and at the risk of sounding like a douchey food critic I’d even call it flavourful. It was salty, sweet, bitter, sour and umami (not to be confused with unagi, which is a state of full mental awareness). Not bad at all for a humble appetiser.
3) All Veg Pizza
The pizza was just alright, not the best thing I’ve ever had, but certainly not the worst, though I have to admit the crust was cooked perfectly which in the chef world is a praise we don’t give out easily.
Is Oven Bristo an exceptional restaurant by Southern standards? Not particularly, but by Goregaon standards it’s actually pretty nice, it does give you food and shelter, which really is all you need in the world. And by mall food standards, it might just be amazing.