There are some problems in life for which you only have yourself to blame; from paying money to watch Farah Khan’s movies, to going vegan, to channelling weapons to Mexican Drug lords for a sting operation, then losing track of those weapons. Yeah, that really happened. But one of the worst forms of well intentioned self harm is trying to eat savoury ice cream; I know this because on one fateful October morn that’s exactly what we did. I went in expecting adventure; all I got was disgust, disappointment and regret that no amount of taking out my frustration in the form of well placed punches to Derrick the Intern’s face could satisfy.
The place that set the scene for the worst liquid nitrogen based disaster of my life is called Papacream, and the culprit, the Pani Puri Sorbet. And yes before I get to complaining about how terrible it was I understand, I was a total dumbass to order a pani puri ice cream, but I did it because I love you, the reader, you’re my muse, my flame, my target demographic for eventual monetisation. I did it for you.
Pani Puri Sorbet
Price: Rs.160 (plus tax)
Do you know what potato mousse is? I don’t. What I do know is that I hate it almost as much as I hate my arch enemy, Coffee By Di Bella, the pricks who took down Fat Kong, my second favourite Chinese Restaurant. The potato mousse comes served in canapés because when you pay 200 bucks for a single scoop of ice cream it sure as hell better not come in puris. But the real star of the whole disaster that is the Pani Puri Sorbet is the pani, which is literally just frozen sludge served in a cup. It tastes like a sweet liquid tamarind that was frozen and mashed together with an expired bottle of jal jeera that someone left in the freezer. No good.
All in all I’d say it was pretty awful, only get it if you hate your wellbeing enough to force yourself into situations that are likely to result in your throwing up, but not quite enough to take up a liberal arts course. I’m sure Papacream has some wonderful desserts; I’m just never going there again.