The Gentleman’s Guide To Weekend Binge Drinking In Bandra

The article was written by Banda Lamba, he has six-pack abs, so we really couldn’t tell him no. He’s a full time copywriter and can do more pushups than we can. 

Let’s be honest: you probably feel like doing something ‘different’ every time Saturday night comes around, but end up doing the same old thing and carousing till the second cock. (It means drinking until 3am. Didn’t you study Shakespeare in school?!)

So here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to cut the bullshit and instead of giving you hipster, alternative stuff to do, I’m just going to tell you to go right ahead and get really wasted. Now there are 3 important things to look at when evaluating a bar:

1) The price of alcohol

2) The price of food

3) The price of alcohol

On the basis of the above three salient points, I have arrived at 3 bars in Bandra among which to hop back and forth.

We will start this journey, which should transport you to a galaxy far far away (provided you do it right), at a bar in Bandra called Bonobo.

Bonobo

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The thing that I like most about this bar is that it is named after a monkey (and that you will always get entry here). Now ideally, I would have told you to try and come early by about 9pm so that you get place to sit (since it’s Saturday night), but the very fact that you are probably engaging in illegal activities at home before heading out may delay you quite a bit (I was referring to downloading torrents) so my recommendation would be to reach by 11pm. Bonobo is a cool place and their alcohol is not as expensive as many other places. Speaking of which, these guys have a special deal every Monday and Thursday, and alcohol is super cheap. By the time you leave this place, your level of inebriation should be 5/10. For the Neanderthals out there, that means that you should be at least half drunk.

BSE (The bar, not the stock market, fool)

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Once you’re done with Bonobo head to BSE, which is within walking distance, and a good place to get a couple of drinks. Unlike Bonobo, getting entry into BSE sometimes can be a problem. Now I haven’t figured out the entry criteria because sometimes they stop people for being below 25 years and sometimes they stop guys because apparently they don’t allow stag entry. If you’re in a big group of only guys, don’t enter all at once. Might I also suggest growing a beard, because let’s be honest, real men have beards and the fact that having one makes you look older definitely helps.

Radio Bar

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The next stop once you’re done with BSE (or even denied entry) is Radio Bar, simply because it’s usually open till later than the other two bars on this list. If you have no intention of being really drunk by the time you reach Radio Bar, might I suggest that you kindly stop reading this article, close this tab, open Myntra (or whatever you use for your online shopping) and buy yourself a tiara so that you can finally come out of the closet about being a princess.

If you have any intention of entering Radio Bar the right way, then be sure to wear proper shoes since for safety reasons it is mandatory to cover up your feet, as in this bar they claim to have a ‘good’ crowd that gets offended upon seeing feet.

All in all, this drunken escapade should cost you somewhere between 5-10% of one Coldplay ticket and according to my calculations, a copious amount of brain cells that were going to die anyway.

 

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