While Bill Gates and his team of vampire reptilians spend the next few months perfecting their nanobot microchip delivery system masquerading as a vaccine, we at The Bombay Report have been forced to temporarily suspend our above ground operations. However, during this lockdown period, we’ve been able to use the full extent of our scientific knowledge to create something of even more value than a cure; a list of the 3 finest craft beers that Mumbai has to offer.
Smoke And Malt (Independence Brewery)
Of all the breweries we’ve visited over the years, Independence in Andheri is without a doubt our favourite, despite its grim, bare concrete facade; which makes it look like a KGB black site. The Smoke And Malt is easily one of the most endearing craft beers we’ve ever tasted. While in most cases, the unmistakable scent of kerosene would be a red flag, this particular beer manages to smoothen out its smoky bitterness with a sweet, treacly aftertaste. It truly manages to stay unique in an industry desperate to conform to the whims of Hipsters and their IPAs.
Mystery Pale Ale (Brew Bot)
As people who’ve observed Derrick the Intern’s Tinder dates, we’ll be the first ones to acknowledge that most people don’t appreciate mystery ingredients being slipped into their drinks. But in this case, when Brew Bot does it, it’s okay. Their sole exceptional beer, the Mystery Pale Ale is quite literally pure joy in a glass. Its sweet caramel flavour makes it ideal for a hot summer lunch with friends, but arguably less appropriate when you’re drinking alone in sadness. Still, it certainly warrants serious consideration given that all the other options at Brew Bot are pretty uninspired.
Xtra Pale Ale (Independence Brewery)
Independence’s own menu defines, Xtra Pale Ale as – A fruity brew without any of the shame of drinking cider. Seriously; if pub menus start roasting themselves, this website will go out of business. But all jokes aside, the Xtra Pale Ale is, in our opinion, the best possible beer, for people who don’t really like beer. It’s light, adventurous, but not to threatening, and the taste is inoffensive, it wouldn’t necessarily be our first choice in peacetime, but in the current circumstances, we’d massacre our neighbours without hesitation just for a sip of this universally lovable craft.
We’ve tried craft beers all over the city, but these were our favourites. If you think there are some beers that we missed, we’d be happy to shoot down your suggestions at firstname.lastname@example.org. Also, if your favourite craft beer happens to be from Doolally, don’t even bother writing in.