Do you know what the hardest part of running an internationally acclaimed food website from a repurposed Toyota Qualis is? No, it isn’t perfecting a resilient revenue stream that involves our interns buying movie tickets in bulk & then selling them in black outside Gaitey Galaxy. Nor is it ensuring that establishments who refute our status as the #1 Restaurant review blog in the country are quickly run out of business; due to a sudden & suspicious case of arson.
It’s actually finding out that our favourite restaurants have shut permanently and then having to tell Derrick the Intern that they “moved to Poona” so it won’t break his heart. It may seem a little callous to whine about the emotional trauma of having a moderately unfunny article made redundant because a restaurant on Carter Road went-under a year and a half ago, but this is The Bombay Report. Anyway, today we’re here to honour three great restaurants that touched our lives and which truly were, too beautiful for this world:
Verbena, Lower Parel
Easily our favourite microbrewery in the city, Verbena had by far best and most inspired craft beers to date. Hell, their stuff was so delicious it almost made us entertain the notion of cider being a legitimate drink, instead an unholy perversion of apple juice. It’s a shame that Verbena did everything in their power to hide their amazing beer and instead chose to position themselves as just another rooftop lounge for hip youngsters, when they could have been so much more. That being said, the giant sheet metal Pegasus dangling from the celling was a manslaughter incident waiting to happen, so look on the plus side.
Burger Bros, Bandra
We never go to Carter Road, having long written it off as the ultimate symbol of urban decay, where you could spend a couple of hundred of bucks on a single ice cream and then be accosted by a swarm of ‘beggar’ children, many of whom are under our employ; but Burger Bros changed all of that. It was a legitimately good, and reasonably priced burger joint; arguably one of the few in Bandra to meet both criteria. They had one of the finest chicken burgers in existence, one which could stand toe to toe with anything made from real meat, and a simple yet sublime beef cheeseburger. They even took the time to prepare their own fries & dips, instead of just dropping a packet of Venky’s in hot oil; because they were a real restaurant, & not a housewife with unexpected guests.
The Chimney Factory, Bandra
From Froyo and tiny cupcakes, to cheesecake and bubble tea, none of Mumbai’s great dessert revolutions ever included men. But that all changed in 2018 when The Chimney Factory came on to the scene and Hungarian cones became the new fad. They boasted exotic items from the land of the ballpoint pen, ranging from mildly amusing to downright brilliant, ie. the Paneer Bhurji and the Apple Pie Chimney Cones. And then there was the unforgettable Pineapple Popcorn Cooler, a drink so odd but refreshing that it’s still etched into our memories. Sadly the revolution ended in a week, and now The Chimney Factory suffers a fate even worse than being extinguished from history, they moved to Dadar.
Haters tell us that restaurants open and close all the time, & not to be such babies about it. However, emotional connections with restaurants are among the strongest relationships we have, and they deserve a proper sending off.
Have you formed an unhealthy emotional bond with the bhelpuri wala at the end of your lane, only for him to go back to his gaon without so much as a text message, as if you were some sort of two hundred rupee whore? Tell us on instagram, so we can cry about our horrible taste in boys together.