According to the internet, The Bombay Report is now the 3rd biggest player Mumbai’s lucrative food blogging sphere not run by middle aged housewives. Which is why we took it as a great personal insult when it was brought to our attention that a small milkshake parlour in Bandra had opened for business without our blessing.
Lest our stranglehold on the Food & Beverage industry be permanently diminished, we dispatched a well-armed band of patriots to brave the speeding Rizvi college scooterists of Carter Road and find answers; they knew what they signed up for.
After witnessing a host of unusual sights, including a small girl being chased by two grown men we hoped were members of her family; we arrived at the doorstep of the institution that refused to bend the knee. Edwins serves their milkshakes in glass bottles, making them the 35th place in Mumbai to do so. This great city has undergone several dessert fads over the past decade, all of which have been marked by violence. Surely you recall the horrors of the Cup Cake wars which raged from 2011- 2013, and Fro-Yo revolution of 2014, followed by the brief but brutal proliferation of Doughnuts in 2015. All of that is history, today Milkshakes reign supreme.
Edwins is quite possibly the one of the smallest restaurants we’ve ever seen, there’s no seating and nowhere you can rest your drink in between sips, apart from the ordering counter and some weird ice cream tricycle thing they have parked outside to amuse your inner 4-year-old. The staff initially mistook us for Zomato bloggers, which always severely riles us up; and asked us why we hadn’t show up for the previous day’s launch they never actually invited us to.
We asked them for samples of the milkshakes before we placed our order, which we obviously meant as joke, but they called our bluff and made us watch them undergo the truly horrific (and oddly long) process of running all that complicated machinery just for a couple of drops of chocolate milkshake in a shot glass. Rather than indulge in any more inadvertent acts of torture we decided to place our final order; even though really wanted to try the Travis flavour. We commissioned the Caramel Banana Legendary Thickshake and the Edwins Signature Premium Milkshake.
Caramel Banana Legendary Thickshake
We’re not quite sure what a thickshake is, we just assumed it was a milkshake with a nice bottom; and in a way it was. The base was thick and dense, and the top light and smooth. Even though it looked like baby food, it was almost addictively delicious. They let us keep the bottle to commemorate the occasion, which went down well with us for all of three minutes before we realised that disposing off a glass battle in a country that doesn’t possess dustbin technology is very difficult.
Edwins Signature Premium Milkshake
Despite our best efforts of journalism that we developed in one of the country’s premiere educational institutions, we were unable to ascertain the ingredients of the Edwins Signature Premium Milkshake by coercing the staff. All they said was that ‘you won’t find it anywhere in Mumbai’, which means it’s probably made from politeness and level roads. All we can say is that it’s delicious, and if you find out the recipe and send it to us we will take you on our next assignment.
The Decree: Overall, we’d have to say that as much as we enjoyed Edwins, it wasn’t truly better than the competition. It seems almost identical to the Keventers ten metres away, and is almost exactly the same price. Either way, make sure to complain about the glass bottles to the staff and ask for plastic glasses instead. It’s the manly thing to do.