Answers to questions you didn’t know you had

We at The Bombay Report believe in many things, especially love and peace. After reading our Terms & Conditions, we are certain that you have some legitimate concerns. Here are our responses to some of the questions you may or may not have.

1) What can The Bombay Report do with my data?

a) Anything really, though we take utmost care to not get caught.


2) Can I sue The Bombay Report?

a) Yes. But please don’t. The Bombay Report is protected by Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 19 of the Constitution of India and hopefully sometime in the future, if everything goes as planned, Salman Khan’s defence lawyer. As of January 2016 free speech is still legal, freedom of thought (or having thoughts at all) is optional.


3) How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

a) One.


4) Is The Bombay Report liable for spreading false information?

a) At The Bombay Report we verify our facts from credible sources before we publish them, which according to our legal team is against internet policy. On the off chance we do make a mistake, bring it to our attention and we’ll do our best to rectify it.


5) Why do you want to take back the internet?

a) Because the internet has degenerated into a global propaganda delivery system run by hordes of brainwashed imbeciles who should have no right to spread their misguided beliefs to their equally ignorant peers. It’s about time normal, sensible people put them in their place, and when the time comes, beat them with sticks.


If the questions you had weren’t appropriately answered (or covered for that matter) feel free to write to us at bombayreport@gmail.com and we’ll get back to you and try our best to make it seem like we know what we’re doing.