We’ve always admired Germany for its blonde women, beer, and military ferocity; though not necessarily in that order. Which is why it came as quite a surprise to have discovered that we’ve never actually covered authentic German food on the website. Unless, of course you include Imbiss, to which a great moustachioed Chancellor may have well said, albeit in a thoroughly different context, “They’re not pure German.”
Mahlzeit in Bandra on the other hand is authentically German, with grey, concrete walls about as uplifting as a ration line during a Deutsche winter. It was, like every relatively new place in Bandra we’ve ever been to, ridiculously small, with two and a half tables. There was no real reference to the war, except for the subtle addition of blood splattered fencing on the front of the reception desk, quite a poignant touch. Or it could’ve just been paan. This is still India.
After browsing through their printed, paper menu, misusing their unlimited hand sanitiser, spending eight minutes trying to pronounce Bauernfrühstück, and being pleasantly surprised by the fact that they served Fresh Lime Soda, we were ready to place our order.
The Bauernfrühstück was without a doubt the best thing we had, some beautiful potatoes and caramelised onions topped off with a fried egg. As technically simple as this humble dish may sound, Mahlzeit’s take on it was just brilliant. The onions were caramelised to perfection, the potatoes were just perfect, & the accompaniment of mayonnaise was about as acceptable as an accompaniment of mayonnaise could ever be.
A Bratwurst is a pan fried German sausage, and Mahlzeit’s take on them didn’t particularly blow us away. The sausage, rather disappointingly, was chopped up into little pieces, and was quite ordinary. The fries, however, were unlike anything we’d ever experienced, and looked like they’d been cut by an industrial laser. As much as we were looking forward to eating some authentic Pork Bratwurst, nothing about it was worth the amount we paid. It wasn’t particularly nice, nor filling; it just was what it was.
Beep Schnitzel Vienna Style
The first thing we noticed about the schnitzel at Mahlzeit was that it looked dead, especially when compared to the one at Imbiss, which is thinner, larger and considerably more vibrant. While we understand the concept of a more classic bland schnitzel, it only makes sense when the meat is of superior, or at least reasonable quality. This was average at best, meaning they should’ve compensated for it by adding some flavour to the meat. They didn’t; and what we got instead was a disappointment.
The Decree: We went to Mahlzeit looking to pay lip service to a country we genuinely think used to be great at some point in its history; what we got instead was a series of mediocre and expensive meals in rather unimpressive portions. They don’t serve beer, which would have in itself been the biggest disappointment of the whole ordeal, until you consider that they don’t serve tap water either. So should you go there? Strangely, yes. The Bauernfrühstück is absolutely worth a try, but we recommend you give everything else a pass.