Of Spice and Men is ten part series where the brave writers of the Bombay Report track down the absolute spiciest foods all over the city based on audience polls, personal experience and asking my mother, and feed them to the brave interns of The Bombay Report. We called it Of Spice and Men because the title ‘Self Important Writer Tortures People For Profit’ didn’t resonate with our target demographic, depressed alcoholics who like Smokin’ Joe’s. So without further adieu, here’s our first entry; Social’s Deathwing.
Social has no shortage of ways to torture customers, from the annoying steel buckets on their tables, to the annoying toilet paper tissues and of course, the particularly annoying roll-up menus, but the greatest evil they’ve bestowed upon the world are their not so subtly named Deathwings, a plate of hot wings so ridiculously pungent you get a complementary lemonade if you finish it all by yourself. It’s not because they’re nice people, it’s because they don’t want a lawsuit on their hands.
Deathwings are just regular chicken wings immersed in what I can only describe as an unholy spawn of Satan masquerading as a sauce. They’re so goddamn spicy that they made me lose all sense of taste; now I listen to Nickleback. Which isn’t all that surprising when you concoct a mix of chilli paste, chilli flakes, Naga red chilli (some of the spiciest in the world), garlic and tobasco sauce, which are all the ingredients they were willing to disclose, I’m pretty sure there’s also gunpowder and the bile of Satan involved too but I’ll leave that open to speculation.
What I can’t leave open to speculation are my feelings towards Social’s Deathwings, I absolutely loved them; not at the time I was eating them obviously, just retrospectively. It’s definitely something worth trying out. A plate of deathwings costs Rs.220 without tax (because at Social the only things certain are deathwings and taxes) the free lemonade costs Rs.80, but the sickening feeling of having your tongue ablaze and your body perspiring as you gasp for air while your friends take immense delight in your twisted masochism, that’s priceless.