Alcohol is one of the most beautiful things in existence, it blurs the lines between reality and fantasy, helps you enjoy boring situations like parties with strangers, working late, and life. And of course, it acts as a perfectly plausible excuse for making an ass of yourself in front of relatives. Still, if you’re the kind of person who lacks self control, you should probably avoid it all together.
Not only is alcohol a demanding mistress, thanks to VAT and sin taxes it’s as roughly expensive in most states as having an actual mistress, and just as likely to get you in trouble. Another real problem with being an alcoholic when you’re a young man in your 20’s is that it’ll do about as much damage to your health as trying to breathe in Delhi. If you are addicted to alcohol, the best thing you can do is stop, though that’s a lot easier said than done. Besides killing slowly you, alcohol also impairs your sense of judgement and makes you susceptible to stupid mistakes you’ll soon regret like getting into fistfights, drunk driving, hitting on your friends and going to see FAN in theatres.
There are a lot of sensible reasons to give up alcohol, it’ll help you live longer, make you seem like a pious person and save you a fortune on taxes, bail and liver transplants. Of course before you actually stop, you need to decide whether or not you have a drinking problem, which sadly, most people never realise. Here are some signs that you might be an alcoholic:
Whenever you stop drinking for more than two days you feel violently ill. This is either a sign that your body has developed an unhealthy dependence on alcohol or you’ve discovered what Sprite really tastes like without whiskey in it.
A lot of alcoholics feel the need to drink with their friends more than they ever would alone. As a rule of thumb, the amount you drink is inversely proportional to how exciting your friends are. If you’re at a party and feel the need to drink, it means you’re a social drinker, which is infinitely less badass than drinking alone.
Drinking alone is efficient in the sense that it helps you avoid the unnecessary formalities of organising a whole get-together with your friends. You don’t even have to leave house if you don’t want to. Drinking alone offers you the luxury of time, the ambience of home and the pleasure of not having to give the government any service tax money. But for all its advantages it’s just about the closest thing you can be to full blown alcoholism.
If you suffer from depression you’re quite likely to be an alcoholic, though if that’s the case at least be glad you aren’t hooked onto meth at this point.
Violent Thoughts or Behaviour
If you’ve ever thought about or tried killing yourself or other non annoying people when you’ve had more than a bit to drink, not only are you an alcoholic, you’re violent and should seek counseling. Violent alcoholism has no place anywhere outside of Bollywood.
If you’re an alcoholic and this article stopped you from running over people in the state of Delhi, please share it. Please.