Smokin’ Joe’s And Stoners; The Best Pizza For The 3am Munchies

Smokin’ Joe’s is well known for its great food, it’s an Indian chain that’s been serving up awesome, affordable pizzas for almost 25 years. In the late 2000’s it was seen as a strong Indian alternative to Dominos, which was always a bit unfair because Domino’s pizza tastes like cardboard topped with melting plastic. But since then it’s seemingly faded into obscurity. Or so they’d have us believe..

Smokin’ Joe’s didn’t go anywhere; it’s just seems to have changed its entire business model to cater specifically to one highly overlooked and highly high demographic; the stoners. When you think about it, it all seems to add up. Most of Smokin’ Joe’s outlets are open till 5am, they have ridiculously good buy one get one free offers on all their pizzas every single day, their food isn’t particularly delicious but is filling as hell, and of course, their name literally says ‘smokin’. Before 11pm, you can try and avail of of their “free pizza offer”. All you have to do convince them they have an offer, by telling them that they do, and being persistent if they say they don’t (which is very unlikely). It works, we tried it out multiple times with much success at the Santa Cruz branch.

If you’re a stoner or just a person who likes eating a lot of food at three in the morning, you’ve probably already heard of Smokin’ Joe’s, but choosing the right pizza can be a daunting and tedious task, especially when you’re high, which is why we’ve done it for you.

Smokin’ Joe’s
Left; Smokin’ Joe’s Special & Right; Napolitana

The Napolitana

The Napolitana is one of the best pizzas Smokin’ Joes has to offer. It’s topped with roasted chicken, sprinkled with bits of bacon (although some branches don’t serve pork), mushrooms and flavoured with garlic. Even if it’s a bit too garlicky (that’s not a thing), and the crust usually tastes a bit burnt, at 4am, this is a delicious pizza. If you’re stoned with a buddy I would recommend ordering a Large Napolitana (Rs.625), and choosing the large Smoking Joes Special as your ‘free pizza’ though you’ll have to negotiate a bit with the guy (or lady) taking your order.

The Smokin’ Joes Special

The Smokin Joe’s Special is the pride and joy of Smokin Joes. It’s pretty good but not as a pizza, just as a means to satisfying an insatiable hunger. It’s all chicken; chicken salami, chicken sausage and chicken herbed chicken bits with onion, garlic and oregano. The Smokin Joes special is relatively bland and pairs excellently with the Napolitana. A large Special (along with a second pizza of your choice) will set you back by Rs. 625.


Chilly Chicken

Smokin' Joe's
Chilly Chicken

Putting Chinese food in a pizza is the most Indian thing you can possibly do, except for putting ketchup on your pizza. It sounds a bit strange but Smokin’ Joe’s manages to pull it off rather well. The chilli chicken pizza is fairly spicy and tastes like an authentically Indian Chinese meal but better; because it’s still pizza. A large Chilly Chicken pizza costs Rs.595, for your free pizza I’d recommend you pick either a Meat Feast or a Chicken Kheema (they don’t allow you to pick the more expensive Napolitana, Special or Pepperoni pizzas, even though we really tried).

Calling your ex at 3am can never lead to anything special, but calling Smokin’ Joe’s just might.

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