Terms & Conditions

Our lawyers don’t mess around

When you access the Bombay Report website, it is assumed that you have read, and comply with all the terms of service, because everyone always reads the terms and conditions pages of websites they visit. That being said, we strongly recommend that you read this page nonetheless, mainly because our legal team spent a preposterous amount of time and money on it.

Please note, that by visiting our site you are automatically consenting to the nasty things we plan to do with your personal information, that’s just the law, someone should really look into that. Also note that clicking “agree” or “disagree” doesn’t make any difference to the data we collect and store on our secret servers in the Swiss Alps. We, in this case is bombayreport.com. And quite possibly the NSA. If you continue to read this page, we believe it’s safe to assume you already use Facebook.

1) Information we collect: By using our services you are agreeing to give us all your personal information like  your, IP address, email id, address and mother’s maiden name. We’d say we require this information to give you the best possible experience, but our legal team tells us that we cannot lie whilst our right hand is placed on a poster of Salman Khan.

2) Information you give us: From time to time, you may fill out questionnaires and surveys on the site, all this information is handled with utmost respect and sold solely to the highest bidder. Bombay Report also reserves the right to come to your house and waterboard you for data if the marketers demand.

3) Use and Retention of Data: The Bombay Report uses your personal information to spy and possibly incriminate you and your friends.We store your data in a secret undisclosed location in Switzerland.

4) Sharing of Information: The Bombay Report does not share your information with third parties and advertisers, The Bombay Report sells your information to third parties and advertisers. We’re not communists. We may occasionally be forced to share the information we collect about you to government agencies on request, but only after throwing an initial fuss.

5) Misc: By using our services you are also agreeing to the forfeiture of your first born.

6) Feedback: If you have any queries regarding our privacy policy please feel free to write to us at bombayreport@gmail.com. We appreciate any questions or concerns you may have and will be glad to entertain them.

Thank you for agreeing to our Privacy Policy, you are now clear to enjoy unrestricted access to our website while we simultaneously enjoy unrestricted access to your bank account number. Remember, at least we’re not BuzzFeed.