Despite being this country’s leading food blog with regard to the number of acts of violence committed in our name, The Bombay Report has failed to gain a foothold in one province above all else; Borivali. Some believe it’s because the good people of Borivali find it hard to appreciate the importance of unbiased sushi reviews, since they’re a mostly agrarian society, while others claim it’s because we brought the village chieftain great dishonour by denying his daughter’s hand in marriage. Either way, consider this article an offering of love that we hope will go a long way in bringing this forgotten suburb into contemporary society.
As custodians of the truth, we’ve faced many attempts on our lives by disgruntled chefs, rival publications, former employees, and even current ones. Which is why we keep our movements and schedules a secret. This strict code also means that we don’t take up reviews when invited by restaurants looking to earn the honour of a TBR endorsement, lest we be lured into a violent ambush by our enemies/creditors. The restaurant selection process here at The Bombay Report is a systematic, detailed, and gruelling process, involving prank-calling the restaurant at least 8 times, some type of grain alcohol, and 3 hours of hate-watching curly tales videos.
The Burger Pit is everything we look for in an eating establishment; it has replica 1950’s Cadillac seats (on which we dropped barbecue sauce), Vinyl Records of Kenny Rogers and Elvis, but perhaps most importantly, lots of Harley Davidson parts mounted on the walls; enough to assemble a motorcycle if you happen to be in Borivali on the night of the purge, & you need to get the hell out of there. Derrick the Intern also dipped his toes into the local real estate business, trading a lighter and his Blackberry Bold 4 for 18 acres of land.
Cheesy Tenderloin Nachos
You’d think beautiful, juicy minced tenderloin would be the star of this dish, but it was quickly overshadowed by the brilliant cheese sauce. Velvety smooth and perfectly sharp, the Burger Pit’s cheese sauce is its secret weapon, and it makes an appearance on their menu in more than a couple of dishes; Upgrading, elevating, and cheesifying everything it touches. One could easily make the case that this was one of the best variants of cheese nachos we’ve ever tried. Quite frankly, it was so good, that we actually began to resent the nachos for taking up valuable real estate in our plates that could have instead been used to house the delicious, cheesy tenderloin.
Prime Cut Tenderloin Steak
If there’s steak on the menu, there are fair odds are we’ll try it, and fairer odds that we’ll enjoy it. But The Burger Pit’s tenderloin steak is more than just enjoyable, it’s incredible. The steak itself was fairly thin, but tender, succulent & paired perfectly with the sauce, mashed potato and roasted vegetables. In fact, the mashed potato & roasted vegetables were so great in their own right that we’d happily eat them as an alternative to fries(especially frozen ones). Of everything we tried, this was without a doubt, our favourite.
Jurassic Burger
We’ve long been accused of holding on to beliefs that appear to be from the Triassic era. And while we appreciate the criticism, we assure you that nothing we believe in is more than just a couple of millennia old. The Jurassic Burger is a testament to American excess, two tenderloin patties with ham, salami, bacon, cheese and and fried egg. While the size and number of toppings on this burger were truly impressive, we have to say that the the Jurassic Burger is sadly not greater than the sum of its parts. Maybe this is a good idea if you’re trying to impress your friends on instagram, but if you’re looking for a great burger, The Burger Pit has about 20 more regular-sized options that we think you should try instead.
The Decree: Despite its name, The Burger Pit has a vast menu that extends into sandwiches, steaks, ribs and grills. Although our favourite items all had meat, we also ate some smoked wings with a coca cola glaze, and absurdly tender chicken strips that are worth a mention. The execution of everything on their menu is so superb, that by the time our burger arrived, we forgot we were even at a restaurant with ‘burger’ in its name. Save for being run out of town by the locals after asking for filtered water, we had an incredible experience. The food was great, the drinks were refreshing, and the music was from the 80’s; what more could one ask for? Do we recommend it? Yes, and get something with the cheese sauce.
