The Chimney Factory, Pali Naka: Street Food For The Gentry

We’ve predicted many things on The Bombay Report weeks before they occurred, from Chinaar’s outer section being demolished by the BMC to the Burgery and Burger Bros closing down. One of our most recent visions, one that you should pay us for, was that Chimney Cones, a kind of Hungarian street-food made with crispy, flaky baked cones would be Mumbai’s next great dessert trend; and we were right. Unlike cupcakes and froyo, Chimney Cones are a snack grown men can openly enjoy in the presence of a female, and maybe even enjoy sans wamen. This brings us to The Chimney Factory on Pali Naka, the newest cartel in the lucrative Chimney Cone business.

The impeccably glazed ‘Cinema’ cone, with caramel popcorn, maple syrup and dulce de leche

The Chimney Cone Factory, like every other modern institution in Bandra, doesn’t exactly have a sprawling interior, but still makes use of the space it does have quite elegantly. We liked the fact that they have an open kitchen, & we could actually see the rather interesting and intricate process of how they prepare each cone. It’s not the best way to protect trade secrets, but it makes for some very good pictures, and assures us that we’re not being poisoned by anyone who might’ve read our website. They have two cone making units which they say are ‘imported from Hungary’, which is just fancy talk for ‘appropriated from gypsies’.

The interiors are well designed in our opinion, with a painted florescent wall and an Ultraviolet light set up to highlight a special ice cream topping they serve that glows under UV light. Although that might be pretty cool, the UV also picks up the slightest dirt or stains you might leave behind after a night of vigorous dancing, & is, in the eternal words of Derrick The Intern, “a good way to keep the Instagram thots from 145 in line.”

The Chimney Cone Factory has a considerably expansive menu consisting of sweet and savoury cones, in addition to an assortment of milkshakes and coolers. While we’re the kind of guys who enjoy nitpicking because it makes us feel powerful, in this instance there’s really not much we can say; they really are that good. The 22 dessert cones on their menu all sounded amazing, and it was pretty hard to just pick one. We ended up calling for close to a quarter of everything they had on the menu, because we’re gluttonous pigs.  Some items, however, stood out from the rest.

Paneer Bhurji Chimney Cone

Rs. 180

With some of the best Bhurji we’d ever had outside of an Irani, the Paneer Bhurji Chimney Cone was one of our favourite things from the savoury section. It was served piping hot, in a cone that was akin to a pizza crust, & wasn’t as soft and flaky as we hoped. It did drip through the base of the cone a little bit, but that’s only because we tried eating it from the bottom, as many pioneers might’ve done before us. We also tried two other savory cones, the Mama Rosso, filled with a sort of Italian sauce and the Mexican, filled with drugs, rape and crime. They were both as good, if not better, than the Paneer Bhurji cone.

Apple Pie Chimney Cone

Rs. 210

While The Chimney Factory does have a lot of chocolate chimney cones on offer, we decided to try something a little different, and in retrospect we wouldn’t have it any other way. The Apple Pie Chimney Cone is one of the most beautiful ice creams we’ve ever laid our eyes upon. With a delicious sugar coated chimney cone, bits of hot apple pie filling hidden under the vanilla ice cream and finished with salty, toasted almond slivers, it was, and we say it in the manliest way possible, delightful. It did, however, melt within thirty seconds, because the freshly baked cone doesn’t exactly play well with soft serve ice cream.

Pineapple Popcorn Cooler

Rs. 180

It takes you approximately twelve seconds to figure out whether it’s amazing or disgusting, but after the initial few sips filled with confusion and curiosity, we realized the Pineapple Popcorn Cooler is one of the most refreshing drinks we’ve ever had, despite the fact that its made using only artificial flavouring. It’s oddly bizarre how such an odd mix of two totally different things can make for something so great. Any description we can come up with for the Pineapple Popcorn Cooler using our words would likely dissuade you from trying it, but that’s not on us, it’s the fault of the English Language. It’s just a very odd, delicious, refreshing drink, and you should definitely give it a try.

The Decree: Whenever people tell us there’s a cool new place in Bandra opening up, we usually get really pissed because it’s always some variant of a vegan, hipster, handcrafted, organic cupcake shop or salad boutique. But The Chimney Factory is different; it’s just two cool guys experimenting with really great food and nice drinks, it’s almost a shame that their attention to detail is mostly wasted, because the majority of their clientele are rich chicks on Ecstasy who’ve been kicked out from 145. Should you go there? Yes.

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