Where’s My Cone; Do Ice Cream Sandwiches Actually Suck?
Rohan Cooper
The vast majority of the feedback that this website receives, aside from defamation lawsuits, is to start writing about dessert and women’s issues. After much pressure and several committee meetings full of handshakes and the scratching of backs (which we found out was a metaphor only after it was too late) we have agreed to give in to the powers that be and write an article about dessert.
In a world plagued by hate and mistrust, there is one thing that the free peoples of the world can agree is wonderful, ice cream; but as we recently learnt when researching our article, there is no popular consensus on the most efficient ice cream payload delivery system. Our simple task to find a decent ice cream in Khar drew us into a sectarian conflict that spans generations; we’re talking of course about the Cone Wars, (also known as Dessert Storm to some); where cones and cookies fight for supremacy; and only one will reign supreme.
As this city’s leading right wing food journalists, we took the onus of sorting out this divisive subject on ourselves, even though literally no one asked us to. As men our first instinct was to settle this with a fire and fury that the world has never seen, but after those results proved inconclusive we reluctantly inclined towards leaving the office and visiting a local Ice Cream Sandwich stronghold called Where’s My Cone. It was here where we’d draw conclusions that would soon change the world.
Banana Walnut Ice Cream With White Chocolate Almond Cookies
(Rs. 165).
While we were impressed by its majesty for the entirety of the 0.1 seconds it took to melt; it did lead us into discovering a fundamental flaw with their ice cream sandwiches in general; they’re extremely difficult to eat. The fact that Where’s My Cone places a scoop of soft, creamy ice cream between two toasty hot cookies made things even more impractical, and the paper packet they serve it in does little to alleviate the torrent of melted ice cream that will inevitably engulf your fingers. The cookies, although pretty tasty, are about as hard and absorbent as plywood, and push the ice cream out the sides every time you try and take a bite, yet another design flaw nobody bothered to address.
So did we like Where’s My Cone? Sort of. While the ice cream and cookies were pretty tasty in their own right, the ice cream sandwiches are just way too impractical a combination to be anything but a silly gimmick. What is practical are their Milkshakes, which are basically what the ice cream sandwiches end up becoming, a delicious sludge of melted ice cream and crushed cookies, only this time elegantly contained in a tapering cup. What does that remind you of?
