Unlike everywhere else on the internet, the comments section of our website is a wholesome environment, where men and women of character agree with everything we say, and write in suggestions for places we should check out. In fact, by far the most requested venue that people ask us to visit is Hell, which given our lifestyle of debauchery and 9/11 ‘jokes’ isn’t an outlandish proposition. However, we chose to go instead to the second most requested restaurant, an obscure kebab stall in the seedy by-lanes near Santacruz station. Its name, Hot Seekh.
Multiple claims were made that this place, which we’d never even heard of, was better than Nice Fast Food Centre, a noble establishment not too far away, & one that we hold close to our hearts. As an award winning media conglomerate and the most trusted name in right-wing food journalism, we decided to keep an objective, open mind and personally verify these ridiculous claims. After successfully navigating the endless maze that is Santacruz Market, we eventually found Hot Seekh in a random lane that seemed to lead to nowhere of significance. It was little more than a furnace on the side of the road, with nowhere to sit and even less space to stand. It wasn’t very impressive except for a sign next door that read “Beef Shop”, which while anti-national, is still verifiably badass.
The staff, evidently puzzled by why we were taking notes and wielding large magnifying glasses, asked us if we were going to report them to the BMC. Insulted, we told them that our actions would all depend on the how good the kebabs were. After being blasted in the face by lethal doses of thick, billowing smoke from their coal powered stove and wanting to leave as soon as possible, we placed our orders, most of which they remembered.
Chicken Baida Roti
Rs. 60
The Chicken Baida Roti at Hot Seekh was very similar to the one you get at Nice, only just not quite as good. The outside wasn’t as crispy as it could’ve been, and the chicken on the inside was limp and not particularly delicious. Hot Seekh’s Chicken Baida Roti was decent, and certainly acceptable enough for a casual snack with the boys, it just wasn’t very impressive.
Mutton Sandwich
Rs. 80
The Mutton Sandwich was an unusual item, something we hadn’t seen anywhere on our travels before. But we called for a couple anyway, because they looked amazing from where we were standing. The mutton sandwiches had chopped up mutton in a sort of curry, stuffed between a naan bread, served with the standard onions and fresh mint. While the flavour of the mutton gravy filling was nothing special by itself, the piping hot naan toasted to a crisp definitely helped us polish it off in no time at all.
Mutton Seekh Kebab
Rs 140
The Mutton Seekh Kebabs were everything we could hope for them to be, thick, flavourful, juicy, and spicy. We’d be lying if we said they weren’t among the best seekh kebabs we’d ever had by the side of the road. Extremely tender, perfectly charred, & bursting with flavour from God only knows how many spices, Hot Seekh’s Mutton Seekh Kebabs were truly worth every penny. We also went back and ordered some chicken kebabs for you vegetarians out there, which were also amazing, and moved us deeply.
The Decree: Hot Seekh has its fair share of hits and misses, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t have a great time. The staff is extremely friendly, and as far as location goes, it’s in a far more interesting, if not more inconvenient part of the world than Nice. But in all other respects we’d go so far as to say that they’re equals, although the seekh kebabs at Hot Seekh are definitely a winner. Would we recommend it? Absolutely.
