Things aren’t good at The Bombay Report. Bombil Fry seems like a distant memory, and our reserves of Haywards 5000 dried out weeks ago, forcing our wandering eyes to stray toward Bira White. With our finances looking bleak, we even considered letting go of Derrick the intern, but then we realised we don’t pay him anyway; and we never will. As the world government led by Bill Gates burns down the economy and threatens to completely abolish personal liberty just so a few diabetic octogenarians don’t risk getting a cough, we can’t help but think about the best restaurants we visited, and the friends we made along the way.
So, should we perish, we’ve created a sacred list of our three favourite dive bars in Bombay, so that future generations may honour the antiquated tradition of going outside and getting drunk with friends for a reasonable price.
Navik, Chakala
If you consider yourself a connoisseur of chakli, then Navik just may be the dive bar for you, that is of course assuming that you’re fine with the fact that it’s located under a bridge in Chakala. It’s exceptionally dark and cold, but relaxing into the terror of paralysis only makes the food taste better. Navik is one of few bars we’ve been to that actually bothers to stock up on all things that they put on their menu, and getting to eat crab, squid, and clams isn’t a matter left to the gods of chance; neither is the fact you’ll have an incredible time.
Canara, Fort
Located just a minute’s walk away from Mumbai’s most important landmark, the RBI’s Coin Museum, Canara Lunch Home is everything we hope heaven will be like. The alcohol is reasonably priced; though not the cheapest, but you’ll more than willing to let that slide when you get a taste of their exquisite seafood.
Samudra, Malad
In addition to housing Stacks & Racks, and the original Jimis Burger, Malad is also home to Samudra; a bar with the some of the most satisfying seafood we’ve found so far. They started out as a humble seafood restaurant, but after sacrificing a young child to the BMC in order to obtain a liquor licence, they’ve become one of the most exemplary bars we’ve ever visited. Do try the Surmai Fry, you won’t regret it.
Things may never go back to the way they were, but if they do, you can be certain that we’ll be getting squiffy at these institutions one more time.
If we missed out on your favourite bar, let us know by mailing us at bombayreport@gmail.com or sliding into our direct messages on Instagram. We might just bring you along for our next review. People commenting “Sunlight” will have their comments removed profiles blocked immediately. Stay safe.
